This week I thought I won’t theme my yoga classes or social media posts around gratitude. That’s what everyone else will be doing. Somewhere deep within my sixth-house, planetary, astrological need to follow the rules and have a plan for everything there exists a teeny tiny rebel. She is the one who insisted on dying her hair black when the other girls went blonde and who has refused opportunities of value because of some deep need to be different. My 36th revolution around the sun brought with it some much-needed clarity on this subject. I’m a mother fucking individual. There is absolutely no one else who is me. There’s a part of me that says I can’t believe it took so long for you to realize something so simple, and the other part of me that says I am so grateful you finally realized this. And so, this week I am practicing gratitude. I am theming my yoga classes around gratitude.
I read a psychology blog by Kathline Colvin about the three stages of gratitude.
Stage one: Expressing gratitude for the good things in your life. I am grateful for my community, my yoga practice, my essential oils, healthy vegan food, etc. This is considered the easiest stage. It’s easy to be grateful for the good things.
Stage two: Expressing gratitude to the people who have made your life better, aka the inspiration for this blog.
Stage three: Adopting new behaviors as a result of those who have helped you.
I dream of time to write letters and postcards and thank you notes, but for now I will express this gratitude in blog form.
To [some] the people who have made my life better (in no particular order)…
My dad for teaching me that it’s always easier to admit a problem right off. I am braver in admitting when something has gone wrong and taking the power from it because of that lesson. Zaundra, for forcing me to claim my power of performance. I love stages, and I’m no longer afraid to admit that. Jaron for teaching me how to be DFW before I even knew what that meant (Down for Whatever). Megan – I know I instagrammed this shit already – but I really have never been in relationship that offers me such a deep look at myself, my habits, patterns, etc. You are the clearest mirror I have ever experienced. To Prince for offering me a safe place to explore and fantasize about my sexuality. David Bowie for saying that being bisexual is just more fun. Chapelle, for accepting yourself and through that helping me to learn to accept myself. You are the most non-judgmental person I know, and I am lucky to exist in the same lifetime as you. Les Leventhal for being my first yoga teacher and setting me on this amazing life path that enthralls me with its levels of joy minute by minute. Marisa Weppner, your mentorship, friendship, leadership and experience take me deeper and deeper to ecstatic bliss and pure, self-love. Manouka – I’m not even sure I am remembering your name correctly, but that Theta healing session with you in Pai, Thailand is still with me. I am still connected to my true consciousness. Jessica for taking me deeper in Ayurveda and Marma healing.
This is hard… not because I am struggling with writing out people who have blessed my life and made it better, but because there are so many. This could go on and on and on and on.
Mom, for never doubting any of my dreams and crazy ideas. I can’t imagine what you were experiencing when out of nowhere I decided to travel alone to Nairobi, Kenya. Thank you for supporting me always. Kenya. My Kenya family; Jennie, Hank, Ink, Michung, Anena, Salome, Michael – your love brought me back from the brink of loneliness and showed me for the first time in my adult life that I was connected. Jeenal and Daniel, my Wise Living Yoga Academy teachers for gifting your knowledge and sharing your dharma so completely, and for teaching me and so many others what living Yoga really is. My Thailand vagabonds – Rosalin, Stacey, Christina, Amaris, Laura – I just really love you and am so grateful you are in my life. Jen Martinez, you helped keep my light burning when I had no tools for doing it on my own. You might even say you resurrected me. Dana, Blythe, Jenn, Seth, Marie, Tasha, Ed for sharing in exuberant joy with me for years and years, and for providing me a safe and connected place for adventures and play. I learned how to let go of my control because of you. My PPS ladies, you are the most loving and accepting bunch of ladies I know – I always feel recharged after spending time in your presence. To all of the friends who are teachers and the teachers who are friends, I am eternally grateful to you. This list is no where near complete, but I will say, my stadium of people who I love and who have made my life better is packed full, a sold out crowd. I love you.